Yup.

........what do I want to look back and remember... (Being at peace and feeling good.)

when I 'let things go' - that are beyond my control - I feel a lot better.
I have allowed myself minutes/hours to be mad/upset - then I don't have control over it - it's a waste to keep thinking about it and dwell on it.

One example: House. The $ needed for a house inspection + down payment + ER fund + ER house fund + closing + and other house money is not there (yet)
After the wedding exp, there isn't enough $ for a "move in ready house"  + with our requirements.

And we don't have enough cash & time for a "fixer - upper"
We wouldn't mind a fixer, but b/c of $ (and the time involved/needed) it is too risky for us currently.

I still want a house before (or soon after the wedding) - my wants and thoughts and opinions have stayed the same, but I have made peace / let go of thinking it might/could happen. And I am not perusing a house search of "I wish!!"
B and I have agreed on this together.

It feels good to have made a realistic decision.

--------------------------------
B and I went out to the wedding venue this past weekend.
They redid the floors - so that is cool. White title vs. Wood (or wood-look-a-like?)

1 Table can have 8 ppl (not counting 2 on the ends)
They are rectangle shaped.
They arrangement of tables will be "perfect" if we have 99 or less ppl come. If we have more than 99 the table arrangement might be a little "unique"

At this point, I don't care. It's a wedding - it's going to last maybe 5 ish hours for most guests.
If it's good weather - there's 4 outside tables that would LOVELY to make use of.
Table layout:

The DJ - is sch (praying that he (and his wife) show up) One of B's co-workers that does it on the side.

The photographer is sch (one of my co-workers. Not a "professional" but I have made peace with not hiring a profession photographer.
She is EXCITED to do the wedding and has bought some things -  Wedding Doors. She has window frames and chalk boards. And she said she made her own 'photobooth' and used it at her church already. So yay!

Brian has his tux/suit ordered and the guy's set up for them to order and get fitted.

We called an officiant - but haven't received an email yet.. Need to call again.

We know how much the cake will cost - plans to order it on Saturday.
(Sheet cake and a small round one for us to cut.)

peace.
-kb